2010 SHORT STORY AWARDS.

This year's Short Story Awards were another great success, with some amazing stories from some up-and-coming young authors.

Years 5 and 6 Results:

AWARD WINNERS:

Now It's Time to Leave by Tayla Fraser-Brown, Tauranga Primary School
Heart Broken by Aleysha Dawick, St Mary's Primary School
If Only by Laura McKee, Selwyn Ridge Primary School
The Great Escape of 1942 by James Hitchener, Tauranga Primary School

HIGHLY COMMENDED:

Now I am In Real Trouble by Laura McKee, Selwyn Ridge Primary School
Nothing But a Bunch of Lies by Shannara Hill, Otumoetai Primary School
The Adventures of Agent M by Marcel Henderson, Omanu Primary School
The Cave of Claws by Harrison Dalby, St Mary's School
Dinner Disaster by Jacob Forman, Tauranga Primary
Chocolate Country by Hayley McCabe, Pahoia School

Years 7 and 8 Results:

AWARD WINNERS:

Guts, anyone? by Patrick Imrie, Aquinas College
Angelo and the Emerald by Spencer Ford, Omokoroa No 1 School
The Enchanting Diary of Amela-Rose by Shania Dudson, Mount Maunganui Intermediate
Now I'm in Real Trouble by Briar Hudson, Tauranga Intermediate

HIGHLY COMMENDED:

Charlie the Two Ton Monster by Jared Steel, Aquinas College
The Shell Village by Daisy Willis, Te Ranga School
The Hieroglyph Hero by Nathan Ellison, Tauranga Intermediate
The Morning was Different by Caitlin McLeod, Tauranga Intermediate
The Morning was Different by Briar Mitchell, Tauranga Intermediate
Now I'm in Real Trouble by Reanna Inglis, Otumoetai Intermediate
The Knife, the Berries and the Matches by Joel Verry, Otumoetai Intermediate
The Soldier that Jumped Out of the TV by Jonathan Hill, Otumoetai Intermediate
Traveller by Jayden Drake, Otumoetai Intermediate

Judge's Comments Years 5 and 6 - Judge Amanda McFadden:

Once again, I am honoured to be one of the judges of the Short Story competition. I thoroughly enjoyed reading these imaginative stories. It is wonderful to see the depth of talent we have in Tauranga.

I enjoyed the variety of story plots this year. There were many varied topics from alien abductions to a fairy turning everything into chocolate. The stories were all very creative and I am sure the children had fun thinking of their story outlines. I had a difficult time choosing the four award winners as there were such a good number of stories that could have been in the top four.

But in the end, these four award winners stood out for me. All these stories were imaginative, well constructed and flowed to the last sentence. Each of the characters was descriptive and appealing. The stories drew me in from the first paragraph and kept my interest until the end.

Now it's time to leave by Tayla Fraser-Brown
If only it didn't happen, but it did, so I guess its time to leave now.
A fabulous opening line that left me wanting to read more. Tayla's story was a touching tale of survival against the odds. This was a well-rounded story, using plot building and suspense. I enjoyed the way she ended on a happy note.

Heart Broken by Aleysha Dawick
Oh, this was a tear-jerker! I loved the way the story developed and the description of the sister. I felt the character's feelings when she realized her puppy was missing. Well done for your achievement!

If Only by Laura McKee
Wow! What an interesting short story - full to brimming with description and word pictures. I could see the colours and smell the kauri as I read. Great work, Laura.

The great escape of 1942 by James Hitchener
A great escape and an impressive story. Set in a POW camp in the war, this was a good reminder of the heroic acts that took place in these horrid places. Well-written using a good range of dialogue.

My congratulations to all the entrants, especially to the winning and highly commended writers.

Amanda McFadden, Tauranga Library Teenage Librarian

Judge's Comments Years 7 and 8 - Judge Jean Bennett:

It was pleasing to see that most writers adhered to the competition guidelines. Originality was a feature of the award-winning stories, characters were well developed and the storylines progressed to satisfactory endings. Overall, presentation was excellent with good editing and proof reading.

Fantasy and time-slip stories were a popular theme. Although many endings were weakened by the common: ‘then I woke up and it was all a dream'. An interesting aspect this year was the increase in the number of boys writing fiction and winning awards for their high standard of work.

Guts, anyone? by Patrick Imrie
An inventive response to parents insisting a boy eats his mushrooms or there'll be no dessert. The plot has excellent pace with the main character outwitting his parents at times, although the adults have the last word. Good use of dialogue. Clever, descriptive and funny.

Angelo and the Emerald by Spencer Ford
An imaginative story with a good resolution. Creative writing with graphic mind pictures. The reader is drawn into the conflict between the downtrodden underlings and their oppressors. Characters have evocative names that explain their skills without unnecessary detail. They each play their part and show courage. Fast-paced storyline.

The Enchanting Diary of Amela-Rose by Shania Dudson
Originality is the hallmark of this writer. A fantasy tale in diary form is an unusual approach – yet it works well. The flight from evil and the inevitable confrontation holds tension and keeps the reader engaged. The rhyming chants are a creative touch that leads to a satisfying resolution. Intriguing!

Now I'm in real trouble by Briar Hudson
A realistic, well-written story. The main character's internal conflict when trouble unfolds is honestly portrayed. She struggles with a natural response to avoid punishment for a careless mistake. The story develops well through the back story and resultant anxiety. It rings true when she owns up and takes responsibility for her actions. A mature writing style.

Congratulations to all the award winners and highly commended writers.

Jean Bennett, children's book author

WINNING ENTRIES:

Now It's Time to Leave by Tayla Fraser-Brown

If only it didn't happen, but it did, so I guess it's time to leave now.

2 HOURS 30 MINUTES EARLIER

     We were all sitting at the small round table eating our buns, telling jokes and looking at photo albums, when suddenly we heard loud thumping on the door. A gravely man's voice boomed “Open up, let us in.” We all froze in fright, except my little six year old sister, Charlotte, who ran upstairs and hid knowing that it was probably Nazis, our enemies in the war.
     My dad told me and my twin brother Matt to go and hide with Charlotte but we both stood our ground telling dad we were staying with him and mum.
     They gave up trying to persuade us.There was no time to discuss or even think of a plan. The soldiers were trying to break the door down. We heard the loud bang of the door fall against the ground and we all started to panic.
     Then I heard the charging footsteps of the soldiers coming closer and closer. I quickly grabbed my brother and pulled him under the table with me.
     I peeped round the leg of the table and saw the shiny black boots, with glistening silver buckles step into the room, with four other pairs following behind. I heard my father ask why they were here and in reply got “All you need to know is that you and your family are coming with us, no exceptions”, and in his shadow a gun was being raised. My mother started to cry, dad tried to comfort her and underneath the table me and Matt swapped terrified glances.
     I looked past my brother and behind him I saw the door out to the back yard. I wondered if I should make a dash for it or if it would be infested with armed, uniformed soldiers ready to capture anyone who tried to escape.
     I decided to take the risk, but before I could do anything I needed a plan... Charlotte was hiding upstairs somewhere and our parents were being closely watched by the soldiers.
     First we had to get Charlotte with us unnoticed. “Now” I whispered so quiet that only Matt could hear me. He slithered on his belly behind all the furniture and when he got to the stairs I went after him.
     We hoped that Charlotte was where we thought she would be, under her bed with a blanket over the top of her, and that the soldiers wouldn't come and inspect upstairs.
     We got to Charlotte safely, so now we had to wait for the soldiers to come and search the house. We soon heard them stomp up the stairs, walk to the end of the hall, starting at mum and dad's bedroom. Next we had to save our parents.
     Matt ran to the back yard to distract the soldiers and gave us the signal for me and Charlotte to grab our parents, get the keys, and run down to the secret tunnel leading outside our house and meet him in the car behind the back fence. While we were putting that plan into action, Matt distracted the soldiers with his speed and brains and when he heard the car pull up behind the fence, he jumped the fence, scrambled into the car and shouted “Go!” when he was in.
     The end of the plan was to meet up with the Resistance at the border line taking us out of Germany. Mum radioed them to meet us there on the way and it took a lot of persuading because they have to be very careful with who they help.
     When we got to the border we were greeted by the Resistance and were told we were going to be taken into hiding.
     “If only it didn't happen, but it did, so I guess it's time to leave now,” says my father and with that we crossed the border, leaving behind us our country at war.

Heartbroken by Aleysha Dawick.

     The morning was different. However the sun was shining, as it had been for the last four weeks. The birds were still singing, frogs croaking and those annoying cicadas chirping madly! It was Saturday morning and the first day of the summer school holidays. My parents were still sleeping. My sister was in the lounge busy on her Nintendo, as I could hear her fingers tapping crazily, as I crept in to scare her. The summer sun shone through the window glistening on the baubles hanging on the Christmas tree. It was a beautiful day but the morning was different and would have a big impact on my life.
     The morning was different.....I realised that it was freakishly silent. I listened harder and harder but I could not hear the excited yelping of my puppy, Cassie.
     “Cassie? Cassie?” I called
     “Where's Cassie?” I asked my sister, Ally
     “Leave me alone and stop annoying me!”
     Panic set in,(Ally does that to you though), but trying to stay calm, I strolled towards the garage.
     “She's not in there” I said to myself
     I headed outside to her kennel. Her kennel door was slightly ajar. I started to feel frightened. It was my job to put to Cassie to bed last night.
     “I'm sure I closed her kennel door” I said, second guessing myself.
     “Cassie?” I yelled
     There was no excited bounding of a puppy to eagerly lick your face. There was no wanting of a walk or chasing the tennis ball. There was no gentle whimper of a puppy begging for a tummy rub!
     The scream that left my lungs must have been like a siren, as Mum and Dad were right beside me before I knew it! Tears were rolling down my cheeks like a waterfall, a tap I couldn't turn off. I had made the biggest mistake ever, with fear of losing my best friend!
     The search party was formed. Dad took control of that, while Mum tried so very hard to console me. I was heartbroken! We only had Cassie for three weeks and she was only fours months old. She was the most beautiful Border Collie puppy you have ever seen and I loved.......no I love her so much.
     I could hear Dad and Ally walking up and down the street calling for Cassie. There was door knocking. There was driving round the block. There was checking in with the SPCA and the Council. There was family members round to join in the search. And there was me, alone in my bedroom trying to find comfort in cuddling my stuffed bear. I was feeling very very sorry for myself.
     Lunchtime draw near and still no Cassie. With all the reassurance from the family that it wasn't my fault, the pain remained. I wanted a puppy and promised Mum and Dad that I would look after it. I had failed. This felt like a maths test, I fail them too. The big difference being I hate maths but love Cassie!
     By dinner time there was still no sign of my black and white, floppy eared friend. Everyone was exhausted from searching but I was tired from crying! I had no appetite for tea.
     “Have a nice warm relaxing bath” Mum said. “It will make you feel better”
     “OH WHATEVER” I angrily replied. The disappointment in myself was only getting worse.
     I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.
     The morning was different. I was awoken with a whimpering outside my bedroom window. I hadn't had much sleep and couldn't believe what I was hearing. Dreaming? Probably!
     “Ruff, ruff”
     Glassy eyed, I peered out the window to see a pair of big brown eyes and a pink slobbery tongue with the most beautiful doggy nose and floppy ears steering right back at me! Once again I screamed to wake the whole family and once again tears rolled down my cheeks. This time for joy.

Angelo and the Emerald by Spencer Ford.

     If only he hadn't stolen that gem.
     Angelo scampered along the ground. Autumn leaves crunched under his paws. Mist crept around his ankles. He stopped. His ears twitched. He had to stay alert, for his enemies lurked everywhere. Earlier that night, he snuck into a two-leg's home, while the two-legs were drunk on wine. He was searching for nick-nacks and shiny things when he saw the shiniest, nick-nackiest thing he had ever seen. There, sitting on the table top, was an emerald, glinting in the candlelight. Angelo scrambled up the table, took the emerald, and slinked away home. As he walked towards the forest, he heard someone scream, “Thief! Thief!” When he heard the click of a shotgun, he ran.
     Chased by two-legs and wuff-barks, he climbed up an old oak tree, creaking and swaying in the breeze. His claws dug into the thick bark as he clambered up the tree. He was greeted by the familiar, fang-filled smiles of Claude "the magician? and Carla "the gatherer?. Claude took him towards Octavian's quarters, in the centre of the massive tree. They stopped. Angelo looked over at Claude, but he was gone. “Good luck, big guy”, he shouted, as he scampered away. Angelo just smiled back, wiped the sweat off his brow and crawled into the hollow.
     “YOU WHAT?” roared Octavian. “How dare you break the Mammalian Code?”
     “I know, I know,” said Angelo as he rolled his eyes.
     “Don't backchat me! Do you know who I am?”
     “Yeah, yeah! Supreme Leader of…”
     “OK, OK.” Octavian sighed “Look …we're weasels, not lawbreakers. As your leader I ask you to remember where we are in this world.”
     “But why are two-legs on top?” whined Angelo.
     “No more questions. We'll talk about this in daylight.”
     “But, but…”
     “Goodnight Angelo.”
     Angelo thought for a moment, and then ran off to his hollow. Angelo couldn't sleep for two reasons. Firstly, angry thoughts swirled through his mind. Secondly, he could smell burning fur from Claude's "misfortunate? spells. He tried to force his eyelids shut, but they just sprang back open again. Finally, after hours of trying, his eyelids touched.
     The sun crept above the hills. Frost speckled the treetops. Sunlight shone through the labyrinth of branches. Suddenly a shout was heard from the branches above. Lois "the lookout? jumped down from the tip of the tree.
     “Two-legs and wuff-barks! Two-legs and wuff-barks!”
     Angelo and his fellow weasels woke with a fright. Calisto "the medicine-maker? and a barbecued Claude poked their noses out of their hollows. Six dozy weasels crawled out of their holes. A group of two-legs armed with axes and wuff-barks walked through the thick forest. Fourteen beady eyes looked down on them.
     “What are we going to do?” asked a panicking Carla.
     “We?ll have to find a new tree.” said Sebastian "the hunter?.
     “No!” Angelo stepped forward from the crowd. “For centuries we've been living in the shadow of the two-leg's empire. We've been sliced, diced, shot, stabbed, hunted, shall I go on? But I say no! I say we fight!”
     Sebastian pulled back his bow. Adder poison dripped from his arrow. Swish! The arrow flashed through the air. The muscle-bound two-leg they called Fur Face? fell to the ground with a monstrous thud. The weasels jumped down from the branches. "The Evil One? pulled out her kitchen knife, which glittered in the mid-morning sun.
     “Give me back my emerald!” she screeched.
     Slash! The knife sliced across Angelo's eye He clutched his wound. Blood soaked the fur on his paw. The shining knife was raised above his head. Angelo looked through his remaining eye at his friends.
     Arrows flew to and fro. Axes swung rapidly through the air.
     The knife dropped from the sky. Angelo grabbed his last arrow and stabbed it into her hand. She screamed in agony, jumped at least a metre and ran into the deep forest, left to wander helplessly forever.
     The weasels gathered.
     “Where's Claude?” asked Calisto.
     “Here I am,” answered Claude, crawling out of a groaning two-leg's trousers.
     “What were you doing up there?” asked a curios Lois.
     “You don't want to know.”
     And that is the story of a young weasel, a gemstone and a rebellion against the humans.

Now I'm in Real Troube by Briar Hudson